Vash and Wolfwood on Jury Duty
by Lunar and Divine
Summary: Summary: What happens when Vash and Wolfwood gets a summance for jury duty? You're about to find out! Super funny for those who are sick and twisted! Rated R for Language and Violence
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own TRIGUN so don't sue, If I did do you think I would be writing fics.  
  
Summary: What happens when Vash and Wolfwood gets a summance for jury duty? You're about to find out!  
  
Super funny for those who are sick and twisted. *Rated R for launguage and violence*  
  
Vash and Wolfwood on Jury Duty  
  
Chapter One: In Which the Idiots are Summanced  
  
Created by: Lunar Dragon 001 and Divine Ragnorok EX  
  
*Mei-City*  
  
*Wolfwood's Room*  
  
Wolfwood: ::Yawn:: Praise the lord for he has blessed me with a new day!  
  
::Knock Knock::  
  
Wolfwood: Ah...who the hell is that this early in the morning...  
  
::Knock Knock::  
  
Wolfwood: I'm coming! Jesus Christ...  
  
::Wolfwood finally opens the door::  
  
Mailman Spanky: Sorry to disturb you this early in the morning, but I have a letter for Mr. Nicholas D. Wolfwood.  
  
Wolfwood: That's me  
  
Mailman Spanky: Good! Sign hear please ::muttering:: sexy  
  
Wolfwood: Uh...Excuse me?  
  
Mailman Spanky: Oh...Nothing. Just sign on this line.  
  
Wolfwood: No problem ::While Wolfwood is signing the paper he notices the mailman staring at his chest::  
  
Wolfwood: Um..what are you staring at?  
  
Mailman Spanky: Your chest...is just so strong and muscular...so sexy!  
  
Wolfwood: So...your gay?  
  
Mailman Spanky: Oh yeah... If I wasn't on duty I wouldv'e jumped your bones by now!  
  
Wolfwood: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mailman Spanky: Calm down cutie  
  
Wolfwood: YOU FLAMING HOMO!!!!!!!! ::Wolfwood picks up his gun::  
  
Mailman Spanky: OMG! OMG! HE'S GONNA SHOOT ME! ::high pitched girl scream::  
  
Wolfwood: And take this with you! ::Throws his gay puple clipboard at him::  
  
Wolfwood: Degenerate son of bitch...anyways what's this letter about?  
  
Dear Mr. Nicholas D. Wolfwood,  
  
You have been chosen to do jury duty along with eleven others. The case and further  
  
information with be disscused at the meeting which is tommorow at the Mei City Court. However if you do  
  
not attend YOU WILL BE HUNTED AND PUT IN JAIL WHERE OUR TEAM OF SPECIALLY TRAINED   
  
GUARDS WILL HAVE THERE WAY WITH YOU IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAYS POSSIBLE ^_~.   
  
Hope to see you there! ^_~  
  
Sincerly,  
  
Bobby Bob the III  
  
Wolfwood: Jeez, is everyone gay now a days. Well I might as well go after all... I don't wanna get ass raped.  
  
*Meanwhile in Vash's Room*  
  
Vash: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...nothing like donuts for breakfast.  
  
::Knock Knock::  
  
Vash: Coming! I'll be back my beloved donuts.  
  
::Vash opens the door::  
  
Muscular Mailman Mitch: Letter for a Mr.Vash The Stampede  
  
::Vash stares at him with an odd expression::  
  
M.M.M: What chu lookin' at! YOU THINK I'M A BITCH! STOP LOOKING AT ME OR I'LL FUCK YOUR NARROW ASS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vash: JEEZ MISTER! STOP THE FUCKING YELLING! See now you have me, a peace loving gunman cussing.  
  
M.M.M: Woah! You never said you had a gun, you wanna see my gun...  
  
Vash: Sure why not?  
  
::Muscular Mailman Mitch unzips his pants::  
  
Vash: WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
M.M.M: You said you wanted to see my gun.  
  
Vash: Nevermind ::underbreath:: homo  
  
M.M.M: What cha said?  
  
Vash: Nothing... Can I get my letter now?  
  
M.M.M: Sure, sign here please.  
  
::Vash signs the paper::  
  
M.M.M: Here ya go, have a great day sugar, bye!  
  
Vash: The first person that was truly intrested in me had to be gay...anyway what's this?  
  
::Reads the same letter as Wolfwood recieved::  
  
Vash: Well... I haven't gotten laid in years...but those are guys that would ass raped me... so I'll go......... or maybe.  
  
*The Next Day At The Entrance Mei City Court*  
  
Wolfwood: Man why the hell did they call me for jury duty? I'm a traveling priest for christ sake, I have no time for this  
  
::Wolfwood looks around and spots Vash::  
  
Wolfwood: Son of a bitch look who it is...HEY VASH!!!!!!!  
  
Vash: Hey Mr. Priest man, what are you doing here?  
  
Wolfwood: Ah...I have jury duty, what about you?  
  
Vash: Really! Me too, yes god I won't be alone!  
  
Wolfwood: ...Okay  
  
::Silence::  
  
Vash: Hey Wolfwood...can I ask you a question?  
  
Wolfwood: What,Why they would call us for jury duty?How they got us when we have no real residence? What kind of case are we trying against?Or why my mailman was trying to get at me?There all good questions.   
  
Vash: Ummmm....No... ...Just what the hell is a Muppet? I mean people call them Muppets but their puppets  
  
so why don't they just call them puppets like they are...just what does the m mean in muppet.  
  
Wolfwood: That has been on your mind all night?  
  
Vash: Yeah.  
  
Wolfwood: Well I guess the Muppet means Mofo Puppet.  
  
Vash: Yah that's it! I mean they are pretty mofo-ish.  
  
Wolfwood: ...Right... Anyways let get a move on.  
  
End of Chapter One  
  
Lunar: Well I think I stop here for now, I'm getting tired. That okay with you Vash and Wolfwood?  
  
V and W: Yeah Ms. Lunar  
  
Lunar: Good (Those two are my bitches)  
  
Divine: Anyways the next chapter is called Deliberations.  
  
Everyone: See ya. 


	2. Authors Note 1

Disclaimer: I don't own TRIGUN so don't sue, If I did do you think I would be writing fics.  
  
Summary: What happens when Vash and Wolfwood gets a summance for jury duty? You're about to find out!  
  
Super funny for those who are sick and twisted. *Rated R for launguage and violence*  
  
Not to get your hopes up this is just my note to you guys.  
  
I've been super busy as of late, you know since the start of school and everything.  
  
I've started a second chapter and it will be two times longer than the last...better  
  
yet it will be three times longer! It should be up by Saturday afternoon I promise  
  
you guys!  
  
Next Chapter: Deliberations!  
  
See Ya Soon!  
  
Lunar and Divine.  
  
P.S. If you guys wanna email Lunar email me at ShamanPrincess@Juno.com. 


	3. Deliberations

Disclaimer: I don't own TRIGUN, If I did I wouldn't be writing fics, now would I ? Or Hustler magazine. :)  
  
Summary: What happens when Vash and Wolfwood finally arrive at the courthouse for jury duty? It's a whole lot of shit!  
  
Vash and Wolfwood on Jury Duty  
  
Chapter 2: Deliberations  
  
Created by: Lunar and Divine  
  
*The two finally arrive at the Mei-City Courthouse of Justice*   
  
Assistant Women: Ah...welcome to Mei-City Courthouse. What business do you have here sirs?  
  
Wolfwood: Were here for jury duty, right Vash?  
  
::Vash is drooling at the assistant women::  
  
Assistant Women: Ok...  
  
::Vash runs up to her desk and grabs her hand::  
  
Vash: Oh beautiful lady! I've been dreaming of this day for a long time! I've been longing to   
  
meet someone like you! Will you marry me then eventually be the mother of my children ?  
  
We could name them Vash Jr. and Vashinette!  
  
::Snatches her hand away from him and slaps him with the other::  
  
Assistant Women: NOT A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL! Maybe I would've married   
  
you, let's face it I'm not getting any younger! But that whole children shit, especially one's named Vash Jr. and Vashinette...screw that and screw you!  
  
::Vash crying::  
  
Vash: That... ::sniffling:: was... so... mean...  
  
::Wolfwood in the corner laughing his ass off::  
  
Wolfwood: Wow...that was pitiful chicken shit!  
  
Vash: I'd like to see you do better!  
  
Wolfwood: Really?  
  
Vash: Yes really!  
  
Wolfwood: Ok chicken shit...remember you brought this on yourself.  
  
::Wolfwood walks over to the assistant women and talks to her::  
  
*3 seconds later their making out ferociously*  
  
::Vash notices Wolfwood is rubbing her ass::  
  
3 seconds turns into 10 minutes  
  
Then 20  
  
Then 30  
  
Then 40   
  
*They stop making out to get some air*  
  
Then 50  
  
Then finally 1 hour  
  
::Wolfwood walks over to Vash while rubbing lipstick of his face::  
  
Vash: You freak!  
  
Wolfwood: You surprised chicken shit!  
  
Vash: Not as surprised as the audience you two attracted with your "little show"  
  
Wolfwood: Huh?  
  
::Vash points in their direction::  
  
Wolfwood: Wow...I forgot the doors were made of glass...well let's go!  
  
Vash: Your going straight to hell for this...I've never even seen anything like that in a porno  
  
and I would know cause I watch them a lot! (Sigh) Well...at least tell me her name.  
  
Wolfwood: ...I forgot to ask.  
  
Vash: Nevermind. Were supposed to go to Floor G Room 69.  
  
::Wolfwood shutters::  
  
Vash: What's wrong?  
  
Wolfwood: Well think about everything, the gay mailmen, the gay letters, now the gay room number.  
  
Vash: OMG YOUR RIGHT! But wait a sec, how is the room number gay?  
  
Vash: ...69...oh kinky.  
  
Wolfwood: I say we get the hell out of here while were still straight.  
  
Mysterious Man: Hold it you two!  
  
::Vash and Wolfwood stop dead in their tracks::  
  
Mysterious Man: I wouldn't want to do that if I were you, after all you could be arrested  
  
and special guards could have their way with you.  
  
Vash and Wolfwood: (Gasp) BOBBY BOB THE III!!!!!!!  
  
B.B.III: Very good gentlemen. I see you took time to read my letter. I'm glad.   
  
::He smiled at them::  
  
::That...sent shivers up and down their spines::  
  
::V and W are very cautious of this man, he wore a purple suit with a black shirt and a   
  
matching purple tie and black suede shoes, he also blonde hair (with a bang) and the   
  
brightest smile they've ever seen in their lives, he had to be gay!::  
  
*After being blinded by his smile*  
  
B.B.III: We've been waiting for you two, that is the rest of the jury and me. Well we should get a move on if you want to catch the beginning of the meeting. There will be refreshments  
  
in the room, this includes coffee, tea, soda, a deli platter, chips, and donuts.  
  
Vash: D...donuts? W...What kind of donuts?   
  
B.B.III: All kinds.  
  
Vash: Like?  
  
B.B.III: Jelly filled, powdered, glazed, vanilla cream filled, frosted with sprinkles and much  
  
more.  
  
::Wolfwood sees Vash drooling and about to give in::  
  
Wolfwood: Vash no! Your stronger than this!  
  
Vash: Hey! I can live with being gay! There's precious donuts in that room. You can leave if  
  
you want!   
  
::Vash runs up stairs to room 69::  
  
B.B.III: Mr. Wolfwood I'm sure there's something in that room that could possibly interest  
  
you.  
  
Wolfwood: I don't think so  
  
B.B.III: Not even loads of women?  
  
Wolfwood: Loads...of...women?  
  
B.B.III: Uh-huh, so how about it?  
  
Wolfwood: FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT BEFORE!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Wolfwood runs to room 69::  
  
B.B.III: Heh-heh, some men are pussy whipped...  
  
*In room 69*  
  
B.B.III: Welcome all. As you probably know I am Bobby Bob the III. I organize all the jury   
  
members for all trials. This time I've selected you twelve. I think it would be appropriate if  
  
we got to know each by name. But before we do that does anyone have comments?  
  
Wolfwood: Yo ass! You said there would loads of women! Two women doesn't count as a load.  
  
B.B.III: Ah...but there are loads of women here. There's a stack of Hustler magazine in the  
  
corner.  
  
Wolfwood: Ah...It's better than nothing.  
  
B.B.III: Anyway here is the calling of names.  
  
Juror # 1: Edward Jameson  
  
Juror # 2: Harry Thomas  
  
Juror # 3: Sarah Davidson  
  
Juror # 4: Frank Mitchell  
  
Juror # 5: Nicholas Donovan Wolfwood  
  
Juror # 6: Vash The Stampede  
  
Juror # 7: Angelina Buren  
  
Juror # 8: Jennifer Cole  
  
Juror # 9: Peter Monroe  
  
Juror # 10: David Knight  
  
Juror # 11: Samuel Houston  
  
Finally...  
  
Juror # 12: Carl Gray  
  
B.B.III: If you heard your name please raise your hand. Let me just take a count, 2...4...6...8...10...11? Huh? Then who's missing?  
  
::Suddenly a girl with long flowing raven colored hair and emerald colored eyes walked  
  
through the door::  
  
Girl: Heh-Heh, sorry I'm late, I had some trouble at work.  
  
B.B.III: What's your name girl?  
  
Girl: Angelina Buren you all can call me Angel. Ohh...donuts  
  
::She walks over to the table that Vash has been at ever since he got to room 69::  
  
Angel: Ahh... Jelly donuts, the best donut ever!  
  
Vash: No, your mistaking powdered donuts is the best!  
  
::She looks at him::  
  
Angel: No  
  
Vash: Yes  
  
Angel: No  
  
Vash: Yes  
  
::A short pause::  
  
Angel: NO!  
  
Vash: YES!  
  
Angel: NO!  
  
Vash: YES!  
  
::Another short pause::  
  
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Vash is now in a corner scared to death::  
  
Vash: Ok, you win. Go jelly donuts!  
  
Angel: Damn straight!  
  
::Right know she's staring at him::  
  
Angel: (Thinking) Wow he's pretty cute.  
  
::Know everyone in the room is staring at them::  
  
Wolfwood: Hey chicken shit, what's the hell's problem?  
  
Vash: Urm... nothing ha-ha-ha  
  
Angel: Whoa. That was a stupid argument. Sorry I yelled at you like that.  
  
Vash: Don't worry cause...Nothing ever phases me cause I'm known as...  
  
Wolfwood: Chicken shit.  
  
Vash: Ahh, why did you have to ruin my signature line?  
  
Angel: Te-he, you are truly an weirdo.  
  
::She sticks out her hand::  
  
Angel: We haven't been properly introduced, I'm Angelina Buren.  
  
Vash: Vash The Stampede  
  
Angel: ...You haven't shaken my hand yet.  
  
Vash: Your not freaked out?  
  
Angel: Why would I be?  
  
Vash: I just said I was Vash The Stampede.  
  
Angel: So?  
  
Vash: Just look over there...  
  
::She looks over at the other jurors (except Wolfwood) only to see them huddled in a corner  
  
and one women passed out::  
  
Angel: You people are actually scared of him! Man, your all a bunch of wimps! Does he look  
  
like he would hurt someone? He just had a argument about donuts! He looks about as harmful as a fly.  
  
Vash: ...Gee...thanks for the complement.  
  
B.B.III: CAN WE CONTINUE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Vash, Wolfwood and Angel sit in the back of the room and everyone else sits way in the  
  
front::  
  
::Angel dozes off and falls head first into Vash's lap::  
  
Wolfwood: Whoa! I stand corrected you aren't pitiful with women!  
  
Vash: It's not how it looks...although I wish she was doing what it looks like she's doing.  
  
Angel: ::slurping up drool::  
  
Wolfwood: ...Now I'm convinced...You sure you she's not doing it, I mean you haven't had  
  
it done to you in such a long time maybe you forgot how it felt.  
  
Vash: ...Maybe.  
  
::Angel finally wakes up::  
  
Angel: What the hell?  
  
::Wipes drool from the side of her mouth::  
  
::Then she notices a funny look on Vash's face::  
  
Angel: Hey Wolfwood, what's wrong with him?  
  
::He whispers something in her ear::  
  
Angel: (Gasp) Now I'm just embarrassed! I'm so sorry Vash...  
  
::Looks down::  
  
Angel: I got drool all over your.........pants? Let me just rub... that... off...  
  
::She takes her handkerchief and rubs off the drool from that "special area"::  
  
Vash: ........  
  
Angel: ........  
  
Wolfwood: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::He stops and look at the two, then continues::  
  
Wolfwood: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Lunar: This is where I'm gonna end this chapter.  
  
Divine: Wolfwood, I liked how you rubbed the assistants ass, genius!  
  
Lunar: Speaking of which, that wasn't in the script!  
  
Wolfwood: I thought that would be a good touch, no pun intended, and did you have to tell people my   
  
middle name?  
  
Lunar: Pay back is a bitch, ain't it?  
  
Lunar: Perv...anyway Angel good job on your first day.  
  
Angel: Thanks!  
  
Divine: And Vash...you need to get "you know what" done more often.  
  
Vash: .........  
  
Divine: The next chapter "In Which The Trial Begins" and Millie and Meryl will be in that.  
  
Vash: No!!!!!!!! Meryl is real bitchy!  
  
Wolfwood: Yeah! I get to see big girl again!  
  
Angel: *_*  
  
Everyone: Peace! 


	4. In Which The Trial Begins

*Breaking News*  
  
Female Announcer: Sorry to interrupt your previously broadcasted program,   
  
Male Announcer: We have some breaking news. Early this morning the police found nine bodies. Apparently, these nine victims were apart of a trial being held at the Mai City Courthouse. They  
  
were the jurors for an up coming trial.   
  
Female Announcer: Police have no idea how the victims were killed, but they urge all to be on alert.  
  
Male Announcer: Excuse me, we have an incoming call from one of our listeners.  
  
Female Announcer: Okay caller you are one the air.  
  
Vash: Hey, you guys sound a lot like these two people I know named Lunar and Divine.  
  
Male Announcer: So?  
  
Vash: Oh man, it is you guys, and this cheesy broadcast is just a super cheap way to kill off a few characters!  
  
Lunar: Okay! You got us! But at least let us explain...  
  
Divine: What a minute, you don't have to explain a damn thing to him.  
  
Vash: You can't do that!  
  
Divine: The hell we can!  
  
Lunar: Were gods to you!  
  
Vash: What!? No you aren't!  
  
Divine: Aren't we? We could kill you off if we wanted!  
  
Vash: You wouldn't dare...  
  
Lunar: He's right Divine, we need him for the story.  
  
Divine: Fine...but let's do something else to him to show him just who the hell the boss is!  
  
Lunar: Cool.   
  
::Lunar types in a few things::  
  
Vash: OMG! OMG! I have boobs!  
  
Lunar and Divine: Heh Heh  
  
Lunar: Get the point Vash?  
  
Vash: ...Yeah...  
  
Divine: Delete them Lunar.  
  
Vash: WAIT! I...need to go to the bathroom.  
  
Divine: Huh?...oh...  
  
Lunar: Eww!!!!  
  
::Vash runs off to the bathroom::  
  
Wolfwood: Ohh...who's the hottie that just ran into the bathroom.  
  
Lunar: Wait Wolf...  
  
::To late Wolfwood runs into the bathroom::  
  
Vash : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH::gasp::HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wolfwood: Holy Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lunar: ...I tried to warn him...  
  
Divine: And...um...so our story begins.  
  
Vash and Wolfwood on Jury Duty  
  
Chapter 3: In Which The Trial Begins  
  
Written By: Lunar and Divine  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own TRIGUN, If I did I wouldn't be writing fics, now would I and I'd be rolling in cash!  
  
*The Beginning Of An Early Meeting At the Mei City Courthouse*   
  
::Vash, Wolfwood, and Angel enter room 69 just a little late::  
  
Wolfwood: Well hello every...one...  
  
::Looks around to see no one::  
  
Vash: Have you forgotten already? The jurors found dead this morning ::Mutter:: Cheap ass authors.  
  
Angel: Well what the hell are we doing here? Let's get donuts!  
  
Vash: OH YEAH!!!  
  
::They lock arms and there about to stroll out of the room, just then none other Bobby Bob the III enters::  
  
B.B.III: Just where do you two thing you are going?  
  
Angel: To the nearest tavern...  
  
B.B.III: Well not today!  
  
A and V: Aww!!!!!!  
  
Wolfwood: Yo Dip shit, what's the point of being here if the case is just gonna be canceled?  
  
B.B.III: Not quite my handsome friend, I sent someone out to the town to pick up new jurors.  
  
Wolfwood: ...Never...in your...pathetic life...call me...handsome...  
  
B.B.III: Ok honey  
  
Wolfwood: Or that!  
  
B.B.III: K sweetie pie  
  
Wolfwood: OR THAT!!!!!  
  
B.B.III: How about Gumdrop, or Lemondrop, or even pumpkin, you know what I'll let you decide!  
  
Wolfwood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Breaks out his pistol::  
  
Wolfwood: I'LL SHOOT YOU I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! GO AHEAD AND TEST ME! I FUCKING DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Vash and Angel jump Wolfwood::  
  
A and V: Wolfwood no!  
  
::Some guy from somewhere enters the room::  
  
The Guy: Excuse me Mr. Bob, we managed to round up a new set of jurors. They are waiting in the lobby.  
  
B.B.III: Excuse me all, I have business to take care.  
  
::Now between all of this talk Vash and Angel managed to restrain Wolfwood without any injuries::  
  
Vash: Jesus Christ Superstar! Wolfwood man...what the hell!?  
  
Wolfwood: I'm sorry I lost it...It's just the homosexuality of this town is getting to me!  
  
Angel: I think you need a long relaxing vacation after the trial, I don't know...maybe you could go to rehab.  
  
::B.B.III walks trough the door with the weirdest bunch of you could ever see in your life::  
  
B.B.III: With great sadness I have to introduce you to the newest jurors.  
  
The first juror is a women that is wearing an all white long skirted dress  
  
# 2 is a guy with ass length hair wearing all black and he has white face make-up.  
  
# 3 is... a ...Thomas...  
  
# 4 is this scruffy looking midget with and Italian accent.  
  
# 5 is some guy that kept rubbing his hand together and his eye keeps shaking.  
  
# 6 is a person that actually looks normal. ::I know finally right?::  
  
# 7 is a... mime...  
  
# 8 is a dude that looks real suspicious.  
  
# 9 is some long haired dude that has on sandals and keeps talking about colors  
  
::Pause::   
  
Lunar: Geez...Divine that's the best you could come up with.  
  
Divine: Give me a break!  
  
:: Back to the story::   
  
First Juror: Hello I am Mary. May God be with you all!  
  
Second Juror: What's up I'm Gregorio. DEATH BECOMES ALL! ROCK ON SATAN!  
  
Third Juror: Sqwak! Sqwak!  
  
Fourth Juror: ::Insert Italian Voice:: Yo Ima Raymondo. And whoeva talks about me height gets a black eye.  
  
Fifth Juror: H...H...H...Hey t...t...t...the n...n...n...names J...J...J...Joe.  
  
Sixth Juror: Hey all, my name is Summer ::whispers:: Must destroy all humanity!  
  
Seventh Juror: ::Doing an impression of being trapped in a box::  
  
Eighth Juror: What up ya'll ma name is J.J.   
  
Ninth Juror: My name is Sunshine. Adore all the colors my groovy brothers and sisters.  
  
::Yup, this is going to be one fucked up trial::  
  
V, A, and W : Okay...  
  
Vash: Believe me I have seen quite some things in my days, but, why the hell is a Thomas a juror?  
  
Angel: You tell me...  
  
Wolfwood: ::He's to confused to speak::  
  
::Some guy that was standing in the shadows walks over to Vash::  
  
The Mysterious Guy: I'll have you youngin's know this here Thomas speaks official english in Thomas tongue.  
  
Angel: Two things, who the hell are you? and How the hell do you know what this Thomas said?  
  
The M. Guy: I'm happen to be called Ol' Crackdonald and ever since I was a youngin' I been studying  
  
the Thomas language.  
  
Angel: ::Thinking:: His name explains it all.  
  
::Wolfwood begins to come out of his trance::  
  
Wolfwood: I have a good question. How the hell does a Thomas speak english in Thomas tongue. Doesn't  
  
that mean he's still speaking in Thomas?  
  
Ol' Crackdonald: Well I've never thought it that way! I guess I am the only human around who can understand a Thomas, so I guess I'll stay to translate the Thomas! Hee-Haw!  
  
Vash: Yip-pie...  
  
B.B.III: Can I have you all attention please?   
  
Gregorio: NO ONLY SATAN CAN HAVE MY ATTENTION!  
  
B.B.III: ...Anyway...I would like to introduce a few people to you .  
  
::Here's what you all been waiting for::  
  
Millie and Meryl enter the room.  
  
V and W: HEY! IT'S THE INSURANCE GIRLS!  
  
Angel: Who?  
  
Millie: Huh? Oh Mr. Vash and Mr. Wolfwood! It's good to see you both again!  
  
Meryl: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Millie: Huh? What's wrong Meryl?  
  
Meryl: Him ::She points to Vash:: We've been doing so well without him in our lives! Now were going to get into trouble again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Millie bends down and whispers::  
  
Millie: Admit it... you missed him.  
  
Meryl: Oh please...  
  
B.B.III: Ahem! Please take your personal problems somewhere else!  
  
M and M: Sorry Mr. Bob.  
  
B.B.III: Thank you. Anyway ::Points to Millie:: This is Millie Thompson she will be the bailiff and ::points to Meryl:: This is Meryl Strife she is the courtroom typist.  
  
::In the back of the room::  
  
Angel: Hey Vash, who are they?  
  
Vash: They are old friends of ours. Just letting you know right know Millie is a ditz and Meryl is really  
  
bitchy! I'll introduce you to them later.  
  
Angel: K...  
  
::To the Front::  
  
B.B.III: I'll give you all an hour till the trial beings. I expect you all to be back at 3:00 sharp. You are  
  
dismissed.  
  
::Vash, Wolfwood, and Angel walk up to Millie and Meryl::  
  
Millie: Oh it's so nice to see you two again, who's that?  
  
::Millie looks at Angel with a sincere smile::  
  
Meryl: ::Shoots Angel a glare:: Yeah...who is she?  
  
Angel: ::Shoots Meryl an even nastier glare:: I'm Angelina Buren and your Millie right?  
  
Millie: Bingo!  
  
Angel: And your Melissa? ::She got her name wrong on purpose::  
  
Meryl: Meryl.  
  
Angel: Oops!  
  
Vash: ::He senses the tension:: Um...let's go over to the tavern for lunch and some drinks!  
  
*At the Tavern*  
  
::Millie is passed out on top of Wolfwood:: ::Oh...Kinky::  
  
::Vash and Angel are having a drinking contest::  
  
Vash on beer number 12.  
  
Angel on beer number 15.  
  
Meryl sitting watching the two and getting more and more jealous.  
  
Angel: Hic-Hic. I drunk more than you and I'm only partially drunk!  
  
Vash: BBBUUURRR....HeHeHe  
  
Angel: You can't handle your alcohol, maybe you should stop drinking...  
  
Vash: D...Don't worry...I...can handle it ::Vash face turns green::  
  
Angel: Vash no! ::To late::  
  
Vash: I'm sorry...  
  
Meryl: Heh Heh!  
  
Angel: Oh...no...Oh well , come here Vashie help me walk back to the inn.  
  
Vash: ...K...  
  
::Vash put his hand on Angels side, Angel redirects Vash's hand to her ass and the walk out of the tavern ::  
  
Meryl: That slut...  
  
*At the inn, Angels room*  
  
Angel: Vash turn around so I can change ok?  
  
Vash: Okay...  
  
Angel: Don't turn around yet .  
  
Vash: Turn around?  
  
Angel: No.  
  
Vash: No?  
  
Angel: Yes   
  
Vash: Okay!  
  
::He turns around::  
  
Angel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I  
  
SAID DON'T TURN AROUND!  
  
Vash: .......................................................................................................................................................  
  
Angel: TURN AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vash: Oh uh sorry. I...didn't see anything!  
  
Angel: You lyin' fuck, yes you did!  
  
Vash: I thought you said to turn around!  
  
Angel: ::Thinking:: I am going to see you butt naked ass and all if it's the last thing I do!::  
  
Vash: You done?   
  
Angel: Yes.  
  
Vash: Shall we get going?  
  
Angel: Yeah but don't you wanna take a shower? I mean we could be at the courthouse all night .  
  
Vash: Really! Well let's go to my room so I shower!  
  
Angel: Okay! ::Thinking:: ::Pay back time::  
  
*Vash's Room*  
  
Vash: Okay wait here I'll be back soon.  
  
Angel: Okay Vash darling!  
  
::Soon Angel hears the water running::  
  
Angel: Okay my hunky friend get ready to be seen naked!  
  
::Angel heads in to the bathroom and pulls the shower curtain back::  
  
Vash: .............................................  
  
Angel: ::Soft Gasp:: Vash...I...  
  
::Warning from this point it gets a little serious, remember I said just a little::  
  
::Angel is sitting on Vash's bed waiting for Vash to come out the bathroom::  
  
:: He finally comes out the bathroom with his shirt off:: ::Lunar: Drool, Drool::  
  
Angel: Listen Vash, I'm sorry I didn't know...I just was going to play a trick on you.  
  
Vash: It's okay. But these scars aren't something I'd want to show a girl.  
  
Angel: So...how did you get a of those scars?  
  
Vash: That's my punishment for not killing. Heh- Heh  
  
Angel: You know your smile are always so empty, like you have no feelings...  
  
Vash: .........  
  
::Angel stands up and walks over to Vash, then puts her hand on his cheek, and Vash smiles::  
  
Angel: You know, this smile isn't empty like those others. Anyway you should go put on your clothes .  
  
::After Vash is done, Angel grabs his hand::  
  
Angel: Come on , we have a trial to get to.  
  
Vash: Yeah...  
  
::They leave his room::  
  
::Pause::  
  
Lunar: If that scene wasn't sweet all of you people are heartless bastards.  
  
::Back to the story::  
  
*Back At The Courthouse*  
  
::Vash and Angel get to the courthouse where Wolfwood, Mille, and the ever so bicthy Meryl are waiting for them::  
  
Meryl: Took you two long enough.  
  
Wolfwood: Angel, you changed clothes, ...you two were doing the do weren't you?!  
  
Vash and Angel: Wha?!  
  
Wolfwood: You did!!!!! All right, that's my boy I trained you well!!!!!! Hahahahahahhahahah...  
  
::Wolfwood feels a hand pinching his ass::  
  
Wolfwood: Oww! Millie not now, later tonight.  
  
Millie: Sadly, that's not me.  
  
Wolfwood: ......Then who the fuck is that!  
  
::Wolfwood turns around to see none other than his homophobic mailman::  
  
::Pause::   
  
::Lunar: You all thought it was B.B.III didn't you?::  
  
::Back to story::  
  
Wolfwood: YOU DEGENERATE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mailman Spanky: Nice to see you to baby!  
  
Wolfwood: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Wolfwood breaks out his rocket launcher::  
  
Wolfwood: IT'S A GOOD DAY TO DIE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mailman Spanky: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Wolfwood leaves to go on his rampage::  
  
Angel: That mailman is going to be one bloody and broken S.O.B. that is...if he survives.  
  
Millie: Well it's nice to see Wolfwood playing with others!  
  
::Vash, Angel, and Meryl look at her in disbelief::  
  
Vash: Are you serious!?  
  
Angel: Umm...Millie, Wolfwood isn't playing... he's gonna kill that mailman...  
  
Millie: Really? Well, that's just depressing.  
  
Meryl: .......You are hopeless!  
  
::Anyway it's 15 more minutes till the trial, they waited for Wolfwood for a while, when  
  
Wolfwood came back he had some blood on his pants and satisfied smile on his face::  
  
Wolfwood: Before you all ask...I didn't kill him...I beat him to an inch of his life, whether he lives  
  
or not is god's choice.  
  
::B.B.III walks up to the gang and ask them to report to room 101, but not before flirting with Vash::  
  
*In room 101 (That's the courtroom)*  
  
B.B.III: The case begins in five minutes, let me brief you on what the case is about. Okay?  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Gregorio: Yes Satan, my lord.  
  
B.B.III: What the...anyway the is about a man named Jack Hoff. Some how he managed to hit 33 cities and  
  
towns together. He stole from saloons, banks, and taverns, at least that is what the Sheriff of Felnarl town  
  
is accusing him of. If sentenced he could spend up to 25 years behind bars.  
  
::Vash, Angel, Wolfwood and Millie start laughing::  
  
B.B.III: May I ask what is so funny?  
  
Vash: Jack Hoff .  
  
Meryl: Idiots.  
  
::Five minutes pass by::  
  
B.B.III: Okay everyone the trial is starting, so quiet down please.  
  
::Insert the People Court theme::  
  
Millie(Bailiff):: All rise for the honorable Judge Bluesummers.  
  
::Pause::  
  
::Lunar: Here's your extra surprise::  
  
::Back to Story::  
  
::Legato walks out of his chambers::  
  
Vash: ::Strong Gasp:: Legato!  
  
Legato: Oh Vash! What a pleasant surprise! Don't worry this time I'm not trying to kill you ! I'm going legit  
  
this time! But anyway, bailiff please enter the plaintiff and the defendant!  
  
Millie: Yes Mr. Sir! Walks out to bring in the plaintiff first, then the defendent!  
  
Legato: Bailiff! Is my hair straight? Because I mean I straighted my hair, I used a hot comb, but still I'm not sure...  
  
B.B.III: Judge Bluesummers!  
  
Legato: Oh sorry, plaintiff state your business!  
  
Plaintiff: I am here representing all of the towns/cities that were stolen from. We are suing the defendent Jack  
  
Hoff...  
  
Vash and the Gang: Hahahahahaha!  
  
Plaintiff: ...Like I was saying, we are suing the defendent for all of the thefts. I will be self representing my self.  
  
Legato: ::Yawn:: Okay and you defendant?  
  
Mr. Hoff: I would like to plead...what's that thing where you want to say you didn't do the crime.  
  
Plaintiff: ::Coughing:: Guilty.  
  
Legato: ...I don't know...not guilty.  
  
Mr. Hoff: Yeah! That's it! And I won't be representing myself.  
  
Legato: ::Filing his nails:: Well then who will?  
  
Mr. Hoff: My lawyer is running a little late.  
  
Legato: ::Sigh:: Well give him five minutes and that's all, if he does not appear a lawyer will be appointed to you, yada, yada, yada.   
  
::Insert the musical countdown from Jeopardy::  
  
Legato: ::Painting his fingernails with clear polish:: Ok...since he did not show up I am forced to send for a sub lawyer...  
  
::The courtroom doors open, some guy smoking a bong shows up::  
  
Everyone: Johnny Cockrand!  
  
Johnny: ::Puts the bong away:: Hey, Hey ya'll. Of course you all know me. But I don't you, because your not famous and you never will be!  
  
Meryl: ::Typing and Thinking:: How can I get Angel away from Vash? I mean...she is prettier than me and her and Vash make a good couple. But who cares! I knew him first! And I will win!   
  
::Pause::  
  
Lunar: Whomp, Whomp Meryl.  
  
::Back to the story::  
  
Legato: Ohh...why did you show up !? I was just about to dismiss this case till tomorrow, now I have to miss my  
  
date at the spa.  
  
Vash: Goddamn pretty boy!  
  
Mr. Hoff: But you said you would get me another lawyer.  
  
Legato: Well, I lied! What are going to, sue me! He-he that was a good one.  
  
Plaintiff: Well...um...shouldn't we begin?  
  
Legato: I don't know should we?  
  
Plaintiff: ::Grr:: May we begin?  
  
Legato: Lets.  
  
::From this point on I gonna give the plaintiff a name::  
  
Legato: I never asked you plaintiff, what's your name ?  
  
Plaintiff: Sheila Suka.  
  
::Wolfwood whispering to Vash::  
  
Wolfwood: Sheila Suka what?  
  
Vash: ::Cracking up::  
  
Sheila: We would like to call one of Jack's friends to the bench, he is named...urm...Mr. Michael Nicholson.  
  
Wolfwood: Man! Shitty name!  
  
::Michael approaches the bench::  
  
Millie: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole, and nothing but the truth under the name of...of...  
  
Legato: ...For the love of Mike! God! It's god! Under the name of God!  
  
Millie: Oh yeah! Under the name of God?  
  
Michael: Yah!   
  
Sheila: Mr. Nicholson, have you noticed anything suspicious with Mr. Hoff as of late?  
  
Michael: Well no, except the fact that every time I saw him I saw loads of new things at his home.  
  
Sheila: Ok! So how did you think he got all that new stuff?  
  
Michael: Well, I thought it was because of his job, I mean he got a promotion at his job.  
  
Sheila: ::Muttering:: ::Worthless Dipshit:: You may go now.  
  
Sheila: We would like to call some else to the bench know, Mr. Dick Newball.  
  
::Needless to say the whole gang (except Meryl) started laughing their asses off::  
  
Legato: Order in the court!  
  
Vash: To easy.  
  
Sheila: Ahem! Anyway Mr. Newball, you may approach the bench.  
  
::Dick approaches the bench::  
  
Millie: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth under the name of ...umm....  
  
Everyone in the courtroom and Lunar and Divine: GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Millie: Right! Under the name of God?  
  
Dick: ::In a Michael Jackson voice:: Uh...Yes maam.  
  
Sheila: So Mr. Newball. How would you describe Mr. Hoff in three words.  
  
Dick: Hard Working, Determined and Kleptomaniac.  
  
Sheila: Aha! So he did have sticky fingers at work!  
  
Dick: Yes. He would steal office supplies.  
  
Sheila: What type of office supplies?  
  
Dick: Let's see, typewriters, staplers, pens, pencils, and etc.  
  
Sheila: I see pencils and stuff, but how did he manage to steal type writers and why didn't you call him on it?  
  
Dick: Well I don't know how he got the typewriter out, and let's just say I had my reasons as to why I didn't call him on it.  
  
Sheila: Like?...  
  
Dick: It's to hot for the courtroom ::He winks at Jack::  
  
Angel: Eww...  
  
Wolfwood: Nasty fuck.  
  
Vash: Sick...  
  
Legato: Well is that it Sheila?  
  
Sheila: Yes.  
  
Legato: Good. You got something to say Jack?  
  
Jack: My lawyer will speak on my behalf.  
  
Legato: Well hurry up then!  
  
Johnny: I only have one thing to say.  
  
Legato: They don't get it... Hurry up! I can still make it to my appointment!  
  
Johnny: He didn't do it so there's nothing to it.  
  
Everyone: Wow! That was good! Now I don't who should win the case.  
  
Shiela: You've got to be f-ing with me!  
  
Legato: Good. Well, jury it's up to you to decide who'll win AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!  
  
Jurors: Yeah, Yeah.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
Lunar: This is where I end this chapter!  
  
Divine: Nice work people.  
  
Everyone: Thanks boss.  
  
Vash: So Angel wanna hook up later?  
  
Angel: Ok Vashie.  
  
Wolfwood: Millie wanna come back to my hotel room?  
  
Millie: Sure.  
  
Meryl: What will I do?  
  
Divine: Who cares!  
  
Lunar: Next chapter Decisions, Decisions. Well Ta Ta For Now!  
  
Divine: Peace.  
  
::Vash's tongue rammed in Angel mouth::  
  
::Same for Wolfwood and Millie::  
  
Meryl: ::Sniff:: Bye. 


	5. Decisions, Decisions

Disclaimer: We've been through this, I don't own Trigun. Get it, Got it, Good!  
  
Now a word from your authors...  
  
Whazzup Ya'll!  
  
Lunar and Divine here. We have some things to discuss... ::ahem::   
  
Topic 1: We apologize for taking so long to update the fic. There's been a few problem with the computer so hence the late chapter.  
  
Topic 2: We will soon be wrapping up V and D on Jury Duty, but don't worry... we've decided it will be a continuing story. We haven't come up with a good name for the second story, still in development.  
  
Without further a due...  
  
Vash and Wolfwood on Jury Duty  
  
Chapter 5: Decisions, Decisions  
  
Lunar and Divine  
  
*Mei City Courthouse*  
  
B.B.III: Well you all heard Judge Bluesummers, make your decision then get back to me. Ta Ta.  
  
::He leaves the room::  
  
Vash: ::Tummy Growling:: They at least could have feed us before they put us in this crappy room which by the way smells like sour pee.  
  
Meryl: I told you to eat breakfast this morning, but no. You were joking around with that slut over there.  
  
::Meryl pointing in Angel's direction::  
  
Angel: SLUT! Don't get mad cause I'm hotter than you!  
  
Wolfwood: Burn.  
  
Meryl: Men only think your hot cause your a slut!  
  
Wolfwood: Inferno.  
  
Angel: That's it you wanna go, LET'S GO!  
  
::They start fighting::  
  
Vash: Girls, stop this.  
  
::They ain't listening::  
  
::Vash is about to go stop the fight::  
  
Wolfwood: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Vash: I'm gonna stop the fight.  
  
Wolfwood: Are you fucking crazy? Never stop a cat fight, unless you don't wanna have kids, besides Angels winning. It's gonna be over soon.  
  
::Pause::  
  
L and D: Angel, kick her ass!  
  
::Resume::  
  
Vash: I can't just stand here.  
  
::He tries to stop the fight...big mistake, two fist heads for his "Manhood"::  
  
Vash: AHHHHHHHHHH............... MY JOYSTICK!  
  
::Vash passes out::  
  
A and M: OMG!  
  
Wolfwood: Poor son of a bitch, I tried to warn him.  
  
::They run over to Vash::  
  
Angel: Vash! Vash! Wake up.  
  
Meryl: It's his fault.  
  
::Pause::  
  
Lunar: Oh shit.  
  
Divine: ::Crying for Vash:: I feel your pain.  
  
::Resume::  
  
Vash: ........................................................................................................  
  
::A few minutes later Vash wakes up::  
  
Angel: Vashie, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to uh...um...punch... you "there". Right Meryl?  
  
Meryl: ...  
  
::Angel punches Meryl in the arm::  
  
Meryl: Oww! Um...yeah were sorry.  
  
Angel: Are you mad at us?  
  
Vash: ::Speaking Low:: You know I can't stay mad at you, Angel.  
  
Angel: I'm glad.  
  
Meryl: What about me?  
  
Vash: Oh yeah. I'm not mad at you either.  
  
Meryl: ::Mutters:: Bastard.  
  
::She walks of to her typewriter::  
  
Vash: I feel kinda cold.  
  
Angel: Is it that serious?  
  
Vash: You punched me there, I feel it everywhere.  
  
Angel: Oh...we'll I have a blanket in my backpack if it'll help ya.  
  
::She pulls it out of her back pack, then puts it over Vash::  
  
Vash: I'll be up and about in 10 minutes.  
  
::10 minutes pass::  
  
Vash: I'm alive again!   
  
Wolfwood: Good to have you back chicken shit!  
  
Millie: Were trying to decide what to have for lunch.  
  
Vash: Oh that's easy Dunkin' Donuts is the way to go.  
  
Meryl: KFC  
  
Angel: Eww, Kentucky Fried Cat. I say we order from China Buffet.  
  
Millie: I'm with Angel.  
  
Summer: Uh...excuse me, we've been wondering... why is it that you five get to decide everything?  
  
::The gang pulls out there guns::  
  
Summer: Ok...fair enough.  
  
Angel: Chinese it is!  
  
::She walks over to the door::  
  
Angel: Yo B.B.!  
  
B.B.III: Have you come to a verdict.  
  
Wolfwood: Hell no Homo, we found out that if you keep us here you have to get us food, on your dime.  
  
B.B.III: Damn! Fine, what do you want?  
  
Millie: Go to China Buffet.  
  
Angel: Pick us up 15 number 3 combos and 15 Diet Dr. Peppers, chopsticks and napkins.  
  
B.B.III: ...Fine. While you wait you can take a break.  
  
::He leaves::  
  
::Vash watches Angel like a TV, Wolfwood notices this::  
  
Vash: Hey Wolfwood, can I talk to you for a sec?  
  
Wolfwood: Is it about Angel?  
  
Vash: Yeah! How did you know?  
  
Wolfwood: I'm psyco.  
  
Vash: Don't you mean psychic?  
  
Wolfwood: Yeahhhh sure, thats it...anyway go on.  
  
Vash: Your really psychic! Cool ok since I got punched in my "Lt. wiggles", am I going to be ok down there?  
  
Wolfwood: When does it hurt ???  
  
Vash: Every time I breath, blink and eat.....donuts.   
  
Wolfwood: Why donuts?  
  
Vash: Dunno, might be god telling me to cut back.   
  
Wolfwood: O...K..., anyway I forsee you will never be able to get your "Jack Hoff" on again.   
  
Vash: Huh???  
  
Wolfwood: Nothing, You'll see later. You know what else I can tell you, In the near future I see you asking me a question.  
  
Vash: OMG! Your good. I was just about to ask you a question.  
  
Wolfwood: No really!? Anyways this game is dumb...what's the question?  
  
Vash: There's something about her, but I don't know what, what do you think?  
  
Wolfwood: Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want me to make a list?  
  
Vash: Is it that obvious?  
  
Wolfwood: Really chicken shit! She's hot, she shares all your interest, from gun slinging to drinking, did I mention the she's hot. If I were you I would have bang...ur...bagged her already.  
  
Vash: Never thought of it that way. Thanks for the talk Wolfwood.  
  
Wolfwood: No problemo.  
  
::Angel and Millie pop up behind Vash and Wolfwood::  
  
Angel and Millie: What are you two talking about?  
  
Wolfwood: Holy Chicago! Jesus, you can't sneak up on people like that!  
  
Millie: Sorry.  
  
Angel: I'm sorry too, but you two are acting so secretive.  
  
Vash: Just a conversation about ...um...wrestling.  
  
Millie: Wrestling?  
  
V and W: Yeah wrestling, hahaha.  
  
Angel: O...K...  
  
::Meanwhile, in the dark corner of the room::  
  
Meryl: Look at them over there plotting against me, it's not fair, she just came along and she has a stronghold on Vash, I know! I'll do a background check on her, then reveal her for the fraud she is, that's good...no it's GREAT.  
  
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Everyone stares at her::  
  
Angel: You guys think the beating I gave her has to do with that?  
  
Wolfwood: I believe so...  
  
::Anyways B.B.III returns with their food::  
  
B.B.III: Here, take the damn food! You guys suck almost religiously!  
  
Millie: We love you too!  
  
B.B.III: Eat, then make your decisions then get out of my sight I never wanna see you howdy doo-da motherfellas again!  
  
Wolfwood: You know... his homosexuality is starting to overwhelm me more and more every time I see him.  
  
Angel: Who cares! Let's get to eating.  
  
::Everyone scarf's food into their mouths::  
  
Angel: Oh...Oh God! I gotta use the bathroom!  
  
::She runs off to the B.room::  
  
Wolfwood: What the fuck!? Did he get this from the back of a truck!?  
  
::Angel comes back after throwing up::  
  
Angel: It taste like shit, coated with shit and a little hint of shit!  
  
Meryl: I don't taste it.  
  
Vash: Are you serious?   
  
Millie: It does indeed taste like...butt...dirty butt.  
  
Angel: Meryl, are you used to eating slop?  
  
Meryl: Is slop what we are eating?  
  
Angel: Never mind. ::Mutters:: Slow girl.  
  
Vash: This is crap! They keep us in this nasty room, I saw to mice having sex in the corner a while ago. They feed us mucked up food, that taste like they took it out of some diarrhea toilet water and they still expect us to do work!Well you know what screw them!  
  
Wolfwood: Testify, Reverend Vash!  
  
Angel: So what do we do? Rebel?  
  
Wolfwood: Damn straight!  
  
Meryl: That isn't a good idea you guys.  
  
Millie: It's always ideas with you Meryl, lighten up! I got your back you guys!  
  
Meryl: Millie?  
  
Vash: Who's with us?  
  
Everyone else: Yeah.  
  
Gregorio: Satan said... LET'S TORCH THIS BITCH DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: ...................Yeah.  
  
Millie: So...uh...how do we start?  
  
Vash: ...Dunno.  
  
Angel: Hmm...I got! If you have a weapon, pull it out.  
  
::Everyone pulls out a weapon except for Mary::  
  
Mary: I have a lighter.  
  
Vash: Good, we can use it.  
  
Angel: Mary, if you see anything flammable light it! That's what you do, K?  
  
Mary: Forgive me God... Got it.  
  
Wolfwood: Let's do this.  
  
Vash: Hold on...we need a plan.  
  
Angel: Let's just attack by force, But no killing  
  
Vash: ...especially you Wolfwood.  
  
Wolfwood: What you mean?  
  
Meryl: Well you guys better get a move on...if your gonna do this?  
  
Vash: Your cool with this?  
  
Meryl: No...but I won't stop you.  
  
Vash: Were rubbing off on you.  
  
Meryl: ::Whispers:: I hope not.  
  
Millie: Let's go guys!  
  
::They reach to open the door but...::  
  
Angel: What the... it's locked!  
  
::Suddenly they hear "someone" talking from the loudspeaker::  
  
???:Do you people think were stupid!  
  
Everyone: Um...pretty much, yeah.  
  
???: Oh...well...um, we aren't that stupid.  
  
::In the background::  
  
Person 2: Hey B.B.III, you finished talking to them yet.  
  
B.B.III: You fucking...oh my god! You blew it you ass.  
  
Person 2: Oops! My bad.  
  
B.B.III: Now that you know it's me, I might as well tell you this...you will not make it out of here.  
  
::Back to Vash and the gang::  
  
Wolfwood: You done?  
  
B.B.III: Duh!  
  
Wolfwood: Good.  
  
Angel: To hell with this! Vashie can I see your gun?  
  
Vash: Sure. ::Unzips his pants::  
  
Angel: Actually! I meant your other gun...  
  
Vash: Oh! Here you go.  
  
Angel: Thanks.  
  
::She shoots the hinges of the door::  
  
Angel: And with a little shove...  
  
::She pushes the door with her finger, and it collapses::  
  
Vash: That was so hot...  
  
Angel: Vash, you know anything I do is hot.  
  
Wolfwood: Let's move!  
  
::The group runs out of the room, all is going well until... Vash gets shot at::  
  
Millie: Where did that shot come from?  
  
::Suddenly some dude jumps down from...only God knows where::  
  
V, W, M and M: OMG! It's you!  
  
Angel: Who's that?  
  
???: I'll tell you who I am little girl...  
  
Scroll down to find out.  
  
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???: I'm none other than I The Great...  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Lunar: I'm gonna stop here for now. I finally left you guys with a cliffhanger!  
  
Divine: Next chapter "And Thus Their Story Ends". Yes it's the last chapter.  
  
Lunar: You guys were great! You all have the rest of the day off.  
  
Wolfwood: Well...me and Millie have some catching up to do. We'll be in my trailer.  
  
Millie: See ya!  
  
Angel: ::Yawn:: I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.  
  
Vash: I'll join you.  
  
Meryl: What about me!?  
  
Divine: You said something, Meryl?  
  
L and D: Anyways, LOVE AND PEACE! 


	6. Authors Note Sorry

Disclaimer: For the love of God, we don't own Trigun!  
  
Hey Readers,  
  
Lunar and Divine Here! Sorry the last chapter is taking forever it's just been one problem after another. First the computer crashed so I lost the last chapter, so I had to write it over, then our computer caught a virus so that delayed the update, then my mom said we were moving, so the computer is locked up in storage. Utter crap, right? I know. But, don't worry, the last chapter of V and W on Jury Duty will be up at least by next month, so stay tuned! Then look out for our next story entitled "Twisted Sister" a story about our favorite girl Angel and her fucked up family especially her crazy ass sister Dorothy Van Buren.  
  
Later Dayz ,  
  
L and D. 


	7. Update

ZOMG! I'm sorry. We've been on a long over due hiatus. It's been over a year since our last chapter came out. Don't worry within this week, the last chapter of V and W: On Jury Duty will be up. Also, there will be a sequel, so look out for that. C U Soon.

From the talented minds of,

Lunar and Divine


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